 “Home
Alone” took on a whole new meaning after the movies about
a youngster who found himself left behind in the family
residence without his parents, and yet proved to be
resourceful, fiercely independent, and successful in
thwarting would-be intruders. These huge box-office
comedy thrillers created another urban hero figure --
that of the super kid who is afraid of nothing and who is
safe on his own.
This story might be
entertaining to watch on the screen, but it hardly
represents the reality of today’s latchkey kids.
First of all, there is nothing new about children being on
their own at home. The phrase, latchkey children,
actually originated in the early 1800’s, when youngsters
who were responsible for their own care wore the key to
their home tied on a string around their necks. Today,
however, with an increasing number of parents who work,
there are more children who are at home alone after school,
and many who care for younger siblings, too.
There is no magic
formula to measure a child’s readiness to assume self care
at home. Very often, circumstances drive the issue;
daycare might become unavailable, cost-prohibitive, or
unsatisfactory, or there is no neighbor nearby to provide
supervision along with their own children. A latchkey
child should want to stay alone, and be comfortable assuming
the additional responsibility. Some experts suggest that an
excellent way to find  out
is to ask your child -- most children will tell the truth.
If your youngster is prone to be a worrier, has nightmares,
or is nervous or anxious when he or she is alone, they may
not be ready to stay by themselves. There are
children, on the other hand, who will welcome the
opportunity to demonstrate their maturity and will take
pride in being allowed to take charge. In most cases,
however, it will probably take a considerable amount of
family discussion before a decision is reached.
The other issue
intertwined in whether or not children are allowed home
alone, is are the parents ready to leave their
youngsters unsupervised at home. The first question to
ask yourself is, “What is going to give me an acceptable
level of confidence about this?” In other words,
what do you need to know about the safety of your child
being at home that will allow you to do whatever it is that
keeps you away from home in the first place?
Consider your
children’s maturity level. Do they understand -- and
follow -- safety instructions? How do they do when it
comes to making decisions under pressure? Do they
think clearly and make the choice you would want them to?
Do you have any first-hand information about how they would
react in an emergency? How safe is your neighborhood?
Do you -- and your child -- know your neighbors, and trust
any (or some) of them to come to your child’s aid if
necessary? Do they know about calling 9-1-1?
If you can’t
answer these questions with confidence, perhaps more time is
needed to reach a decision. Another important thing
for parents to consider is the law. In Texas,
for example, under the section covering “abandoning or
endangering a child,” a person commits an offense if, having
custody, care or control of a child younger than 15 years,
he intentionally leaves the child in any place under
circumstances that expose the child to an unreasonable risk.
It is the position of Child Protective Services that a
school age child may be left in the home alone if he or she
has the mental and physical ability to react in an emergency
situation.
According to Harris
County Pct. 4 Constable’s Chief Deputy, Karen Moore,
“Parents want to do what’s best for their child
but, when both parents have to work, sometimes
there are not a lot of options. Obviously, the best
scenario is for an adult to provide care and supervision for
children while mom and dad are at work -- at home or in some
kind of day care of after school program. When
that’s not possible, one solution is to prepare youngsters
who will be staying home alone for part of the day by
setting down firm rules, insisting that they be followed,
and telling youngsters exactly what is expected of them, so
there is absolutely no doubt they understand.”
“After a specific
period of time,” the law enforcement expert continued,
“its a good idea to sit down with your child or children,
ask them how the time alone is going, invite them to express
their concerns, and carefully go  over
the areas where additional attention is needed. Very
often, when youngsters understand how critical their support
and cooperation are to their parents and to the family as a
whole -- and that there are reasonable rewards for success
-- they are eager to demonstrate their ability to accept
responsibility. To make it work, however, there has to
be a basic agreement -- almost a contract -- between the
kids and the parents about specific conduct and safety
issues. The parents have to have confidence that their
kids will be safe...and the children have to believe it,
too.”
Where to
start...
There are some
rather obvious things a family should do when preparing for
youngsters to stay at home alone after school,
beginning with a thorough check for safety risks in the
house or apartment. This includes obvious dangers like
access to firearms, adult beverages, and kitchen appliances
-- especially those that use natural gas. (If cooking
is to be “off limits,” plan to have snacks on hand that
do not require heating up.)
This is a good time
to put together a First Aid kit with your child, and discuss
appropriate measures in the event of an injury. Post
emergency phone numbers near all the telephones in the
house, and be sure to include contact information for
neighbors and other relatives who live nearby. Take
this opportunity to review emergency evacuation drills to
refresh their memory about how to get out of the house in
case of fire.
“Most youngsters
today know about calling 9-1-1 in an emergency,” said
Brad England, executive director of Cypress
Creek EMS. “We spend a lot of time at local
schools and at day care facilities teaching youngsters to
‘Make the Call.’ Parents can help by discussing
what to do in different kinds of emergencies, and to tell
your child -- if they have any doubt at all about how to
respond in an emergency -- to call 9-1-1. It is
important for any youngster who is trusted to be home alone
to know key identification information -- the home address,
parents’ work numbers, and the name and phone number of a
neighbor or responsible adult nearby. If your child
ever does have to call 9-1-1, our dispatchers are especially
trained to calm the caller, to provide understandable
instructions, and to keep the child on the line until the
emergency is resolved or our team arrives on the scene, if
that is appropriate.”
“Along with other
back-to-school instructions,” England continued, “be
sure to require your child to take the same route to and
from school each day, and to come straight home from school.
Set up a check-in message routine so you’ll know they made
it safely home even if you can’t come to the phone when
they call. Another important safety rule is to caution
your
child NEVER to enter the house if the door is open, or if it
appears it may have been broken into. Tell them to go
to a neighbor’s home for help and, if a break-in is also
suspected by the adult, to call 9-1-1 for emergency
assistance.”
“We recommend
that, once they are home, that children keep the doors
locked at all times,” urged chief Deputy Moore.
“The best rule is no company, no exceptions. That
means when mom and dad are away, not even friends may enter
the house. If someone calls and asks for a parent, the
child should say they can’t come to the phone without
letting the caller know they are home alone. It is
also not advisable for kids to talk about being home alone
and to keep their house key safely out of sight. Not
only is it a temptation for friends to visit, but a careless
word could alert others who might be unwelcome visitors.”
“Parents
certainly don’t want to make their children paranoid about
staying alone in the house,” Moore acknowledged.
“But it is entirely appropriate to go over safety
instructions and to discuss potential dangers. Things
have, unfortunately, changed in our society, and each of us
has the responsibility for our own security and protection.
This is a case where it is truly better to be safe than
sorry.”
Here are some other
basic safety tips for being home alone:
- Establish
“House Rules.” Write them down, post them, and
review them periodically. Consider including
homework and chores, using the phone, computer or
kitchen appliances.
- Stress early on
that parents should not be called to settle minor
sibling disputes and disagreements. These can be
addressed in the evening or at special weekly
“meetings” held for just that purpose.
 Practice
emergency procedures, including calling 9-1-1.
Don’t assume that youngsters will know what to say on
the phone in the event of an emergency, so rehearse some
possible situations and talk about what you would expect
them to do in each one.
- Do some role
playing to make children comfortable answering phone
calls and taking messages, as well as dealing with
things like peer pressure (other kids wanting to come
inside) and strangers.
- If you have a
change of plans, or if you are not going to return home
when you said you would, call and reassure your
children. They tend to worry when things don’t
go according to plan, and a lack of information can
cause them to panic.
- There are many
occasions during the school year when youngsters have
after school activities. Be sure to discuss each
day’s schedule -- including all transportation plans
-- so that parent’s won’t worry if the “safe
home” message is not received when expected.
- Try to avoid
placing too much responsibility on a young child and
listen carefully when a “home alone-er” wants to
share concerns or problems.
Remember, no matter how mature your child acts, he or she is
still a child. Children invariably make mistakes; they
don’t always react in a situation as you wish they would.
And, even if they start off well without adult supervision,
they can get “spooked” and develop real fears about
being home by themselves. Give your youngsters lots of
encouragement, support and reinforcement, and treat their
mistakes as learning experiences instead of failures.
Show them how much you appreciate their helpfulness,
self-reliance and cooperation while you are away, and be
liberal with appropriate rewards
|
